Holiday Marathons

— December 8, 2016

CHRISTMAS IN SPRINGFIELD Weekdays at 5:30 p.m. until Thursday, Dec. 22 Saturday, Dec. 10 and 17 from 8 p.m. – 10 p.m. These holiday-themed episodes showcase the Simpsons family celebrating the holiday season with episodes including “‘Tis the 15th Season,” “Simpsons Christmas Stories,” “The Fight Before Christmas,” and more. SATURDAY CHRISTMAS MOVIES Saturday, Dec. 10 10 p.m. – The Ref Denis Leary (RESCUE ME) plays an unfortunate cat burglar who is abandoned by his partner in the middle of a heist and forced to take an irritating couple, Lloyd (Kevin Spacey, HOUSE OF CARDS) and Caroline (Judy Davis, To Rome With Love), hostage. He soon finds he took more than he bargained for when the couple's blackmailing son and despicable in-laws step into the picture. Before long they're driving him nuts with their petty bickering and family problems. The only way for him to survive is to be their referee and resolve their differences, before he can be nabbed by the police. Saturday, Dec. 17 10 p.m. – Bad Santa Willie T. Stokes (Billy Bob Thornton, FARGO) is a washed-up, wise-cracking department store Santa who is more naughty than nice. Underneath his ill-fitting red suit, Willie is actually a safecracker who makes one big score every year on Christmas Eve. As shoppers head home from the mall, this Santa and his ingenious Elf, Willie's midget partner-in-crime Marcus (Tony Cox), crack the store safe and make off with their own holiday stash. But they run into problems when Willy befriends a troubled kid (Brett Kelly) and the security boss of the mall (Bernie Mac, Oceans Thirteen) discovers the plot. CHRISTMAS IN SOUTH PARK Wednesday, Dec. 14 and 21 from 10 p.m. – 12 a.m. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman celebrate Christmas in SOUTH PARK with a collection of holiday-themed episodes, including “#HappyHolograms,” “Woodland Critter Christmas,” “Red Sleigh Down,” and more. CHRISTMAS IN STOOLBEND Monday, Dec. 19 – Thursday, Dec. 22 at 5 p.m. The Cleveland-Tubbs family gets festive in holiday episodes from each season of THE CLEVELAND SHOW. Featured episodes include, “A Cleveland Brown Christmas,” “Murray Christmas,” “Die Semi-Hard,” and “‘Tis the Cleveland To be Sorry.” SOUTH PARK 20 Saturday, Dec. 24 – Sunday, Jan. 8 Daily from 9 p.m. – 5:30 a.m. Much airs every episode of the EMMY® award-winning animated series SOUTH PARK. Created by comic geniuses Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the series features the irreverent and ruthlessly funny misadventures of four foul-mouthed, troublemaking young boys in a small town in the Colorado Rockies. TEAM NINJA WARRIOR MARATHON Monday, Dec. 26 from 1 p.m. – 9 p.m. Tuesday, Dec. 27 from 7 a.m. – 3 p.m. For the first time in ninja history, the mother of all obstacle courses is now built for teams. America's fittest athletes form 24 squads of three for an epic sprint against each other. In the first six episodes, four different teams see their teammates individually race against the opposing team's players through the brutal obstacle course. Each individual win gives them more points, and at the end of the episode, the two teams left standing face-off. The winner of that final relay showdown moves on to the TEAM NINJA WARRIOR finals. THE ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE GAMESHOW MARATHON Tuesday, Dec. 27 from 3 p.m. – 9 p.m. Wednesday, Dec. 28 from 9 a.m. – 9 p.m. Thursday, Dec. 29 from 9 a.m. – 3 p.m. In each episode, ten brave contestants pit themselves against incredibly simple yet hilariously difficult games. Comedy duo The Rubber Bandits provide anarchic commentary as the contestants make their way through games like riding a tiny bike along a very narrow beam, shaking Velcro croissants off a Velcro bodysuit, and putting on a pair of pants while sprinting on a treadmill. These challenges are so tricky that contestants are given 50 attempts to complete just five of them. THE BEST OF DRUNK HISTORY MARATHON Thursday, Dec. 29 from 3 p.m. – 9 p.m. Fan-favourite episodes of the Emmy®-winning series are featured in this marathon, which sees A-list talent reenact historical moments told by inebriated storytellers. Featuring celebrity appearances by Bob Odenkirk (BETTER CALL SAUL), Ellie Kemper (UBREAKABLE KIMMY SCHMIDT), and more, some of the historical moments re-enacted include the Watergate scandal, the fight at the Alamo, and Nellie Bly and Elizabeth Bisland’s attempt to travel around the world in under 80 days. COP MOVIE MARATHON Friday, Dec. 30 3 p.m. – Police Academy As a crime wave sweeps the city and the police department suffers a shortage of officers, the mayor decrees that admission to the Police Academy is open to any and all applicants. The first cadets, a collection of oddballs, eccentrics, and misfits, will soon be let loose on the streets ... if they somehow manage to graduate. 5 p.m. – Police Academy 2 The misfit cadets of the Police Academy have somehow earned their badges and are set loose on the streets. Now on their first assignment, they must use all the wits in their relatively limited capacity to take down a local gang. They also have to overcome the rogue officers within their own precinct who are trying to thwart their bumbling efforts. 7 p.m. – Starsky & Hutch Tightly wound detective David Starsky (Ben Stiller) is forced to partner with easygoing detective Ken Hutchinson (Owen Wilson) to solve a high stakes case. Now the city may never be the same as the two detectives, helped by savvy street informant Huggy Bear (Snoop Dogg), work together to catch smooth-talking drug entrepreneur Reese Feldman (Vince Vaughn). TOP 50 MUSIC VIDEOS OF 2016 Saturday, Dec. 31 and Sunday Jan. 1 Daily from 6 a.m. – 9 p.m. Much ends the year right with a recap of the Top 50 most popular and influential music videos of 2016. Highlights include “Close” by Nick Jonas (ft. Tove Lo), “Pillow Talk” by ZAYN, “Wild Things” by Alessia Cara, and more. TOP 100 MUSIC VIDEOS EVER Monday, Jan. 2 from 11 a.m. – 9 p.m. Much pay homage to the Top 100 most influential music videos of all time. Highlights include “Thriller” by Michael Jackson, “Bad Girls” by M.I.A., “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga, and more.


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Adam Slinn

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